Recovering

I’m the product of a one-night stand between the singer and guitarist of a band that played in New Orleans’ French Quarter during 1968’s infamous Summer of Love. Adopting me at just six weeks old, my parents took me to church before they ever took me home. I grew up hearing about Jesus, learning His Word, and knowing He died for me. At an early age I came to love worship and to delight in being a part of the family of God. My faith in Christ became the structure for everything else in my world.

That early faith would take me through a lot of private struggles. When I was about ten, I discovered pornography at a family member’s house. It skewed my view of myself, men, sexuality, and a woman’s true value. It also made me vulnerable to two years of sexual abuse by an older teen who was addicted to porn himself. During this formative time, I came to believe my worth was tied up with looking perfect and desirable. Love addiction meant that performance and appearance were paramount in my world. Through serial dating relationships, beauty pageants, musical performance, speaking engagements, theater roles, clothing, exercise, and makeup, I worked compulsively to gain everyone’s approval.

When I was eighteen I started dating a 26 year-old therapist who was a committed Christian, but also suffered from his own performance and love addiction. He needed to rescue me as much as I needed to be rescued. We dated for five weeks and got engaged. Five months later we married. Sound like a recipe for divorce? You bet. But God had a different plan. Early in that first, rocky year of marriage, we promised Him that, each time He picked us up out of our despair, we would use that experience to help others find peace in Him too. We cobbled together our personal recoveries from the precepts and principles of scripture, and over the years, a vision for ministry emerged.

Three decades of trial and error, sin and repentance, and gradual spiritual development have passed, and Rob and I are about to mark our thirtieth anniversary. We have two kids here and two more waiting for us in heaven. We’ve lived in Mississippi, Tennessee, Minnesota, Washington, Colorado, and now we’re back home in the Deep South. Before we had children, I worked as a preschool teacher, church secretary and managed Rob’s private practice, but for most of our marriage, I was a full-time, homeschooling mom. Now that our nest is empty, I’m beginning to explore all the things I’ve always wanted to write, starting with…yep, a blog.

You’ll find our perspective on family issues to be a little different, because of Rob’s work as a licensed counselor. For the first decade of his career he did general counseling – individual, marriage, family, depression, and especially anxiety disorders. Over the last twenty years, he has specialized in treating Christian families impacted by Internet pornography addiction. His work, plus my own recovery from abuse and addiction, will eventually produce posts on the themes of Christ-centered recovery and healthy sexuality. Adoption will be another big thread, along with pet topics I refer to as Balanced Homeschooling, Purposeful Design, and The Respected Child.

No matter the topic, however, my overarching message is one of recovery from the effects of sin through spiritual formation. God is purposefully forming and recovering us from the inside outward using all our experiences, even our own sin and others’ sins against us. He wastes nothing. My goal for myself and for you as my readers is that we will learn to cooperate with Him in that process. The more we do so, the more we will enjoy friendship with Him. And the more we enjoy Him, the more He is glorified in us.

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